So, when something specific happens regularly as a result of something you're doing, or not doing, you begin to think it's you, right? You would like to think, for sanity purposes, that you can control some aspect of how people react to you. You can't. I held a mirror up to my stupid situation, and realized that No, It's NOT me. Before you doubt, know that I've been examining for weeks.... AND, there's no need to defend myself either. Whatever.
I don't need what I previously thought I might. My family is enough. I'm done with people showing interest in me until they get what they can, be it information, money, a sale, a fitness routine, then leave me high and dry. Wring me out, then throw me away. Who needs you, anyway?
Suck. It.
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Hallieween!!!
Just a quick post to say Halloween was so fun this year. Me and my sister pretty much celebrated all month with food, pumpkins, scary movies, and haunted houses. How much fun it was! Hallie was a green fairy for Halloween. I really think it was a Tinkerbell costume, but she don't know no Tink.
Oh, every time someone gave her candy she screamed, "THAAAAANK YOU!!!!" to all of them ahahaha like she was livid. LOVE it.
Also...I can't find an upload picture tab....so no pics hahaha
Oh, every time someone gave her candy she screamed, "THAAAAANK YOU!!!!" to all of them ahahaha like she was livid. LOVE it.
Also...I can't find an upload picture tab....so no pics hahaha
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Colby at the B
So there's this coagulation of students that meet every month to hear the sometimes resonant sounds of what is referred to as Acoustic EXPLOSION! I mean, for real. Students must submit a demo tape of their music and be selected among the mound of several other demo tapes. Colby was one of six selected for October.
Off we go to the Buy-You (BYU), and on the way we're jammin' to some Joshua Ritter to warm up. Mostly him as I am just goofing off, pretending to steal the show. We arrive. Colby parks heinously, but it's OK, because he flashes his BYU card and announces he's legit to be in the vicinity of other such individuals. To which they reply, "Uh...that 'card' doesn't give you license to park like an idiot". And Colby intredpidly retorts, "Fellow student, if I didn't park this way, who would?" The fellow student donned a fitting look of bewilderment upon his holy face, and left it alone.
Six minutes late, and we're booking it. The not-so-quiet sound of my most-likely inappropriate hills clicking across the floor, along with anything else I can hyphenate. Colby gets distracted by the building adjacent to our destination, and says, "Oh, man, what's THAT building??" I looked over. The building looked like the red curtains on Broadway that open and close to introduce, conclude scenese, but beige. The Beige Curtain. So I replied, "Oh, that's the Curtain Building." Accustomed, but not aged to my abstract remarks he laughed, "Babe, I love you."
That was sweet, wasn't it?
I walked into the church-like building and was bemused to find a Jamba Juice paralleled to what would normally be a chapel. Mmmm. The small, nearly run-down theatre was located next door to the juice stand. Dark, full, and fun. The current band on stage consisted of two boys singing and playing guitar, and one kid...playing a....conduit for percussion. I clearly don't know what it was. They played reallly well, but I was pretty bored. I'm allowed to be honest!
The following performers were each unique, but hit and miss. This girl, Natalie, played a classical acoustic and had a very clear, beautiful voice that she's finding wonderfully. Not there yet, but she's absolutely on her way. Another girl, Robin, I think was her name (if it wasn't Robin, it should be because she whistled a lot) was modern-day good. As long as she stayed in her range, it was "cute", and "zoe deschanel". She could get an album deal if she wanted.
A few others went by....then it was Colby's turn. He was super nervous. All dressed up in his button up, tucked in shirt with the collar folded neatly over his old-man vest with his favorite pair of jeans. Oh, and his Milwaukee Brewers hat. He left his glasses at home, which really let's us all see those adorable chocolate-chip colored eyes.
Up to the stage he went. If any of you know Colby, he talks when he's nervous. Unabashedly, sometimes. But not this time. He quietly tuned his guitar as he busted this joke, "blahblahblah...saw the hymn numbers on the chalkboard, and new I was at BYU for certain." The students didn't really laugh, so I tried to laugh louder than usual to compensate, while simultaneously giving the stink eye to everyone who could see. Not really, but now that I think about it....
He sang three songs. Opened with Josh Ritter's "Golden Age of Radio" (which is always a hit), "Sharing a Dance With the Rain", one of his own, and finished with his newest song, "Boulder Town". This last one was pretty special. He prefaced the song with the story that his family is from Boulder, UT; a town frequently glimpsed over, unknown, and gloriously unproduced. A few people came up to him after, and expressed their love for the song. One gentleman even had a few family members there as well, and easily identified with Colby.
I'm so proud of Colby. He's working so hard for all his dreams. BYU has been a kick in the butt, but he's doing anything he can, including waking up at 4 every morning just to get his homework done. He's been such a wonderful stay-at-home dad, and running Hallie to her appointments, making sure she eats, gets her naps, etc. By the time I come home, the house is a mess, my baby is sleeping, and Colby is doing homework greeting me with a smile and a kiss and I wouldn't change anything for the world. It's hard, and great. We found a quiet park next to our condo with a running track, so mommy can run, baby can play, and daddy reads. It's lovely. I'm so assured. Every day.
"I'm am assured, yes. I'm assured peace will come to me. A peace that can, yes, surpass the speed of my understanding, and my need."
The End. Man, I really fell off the embellishment wagon pretty early on this one. More fiction/non-fiction to come.
Love you all!
Off we go to the Buy-You (BYU), and on the way we're jammin' to some Joshua Ritter to warm up. Mostly him as I am just goofing off, pretending to steal the show. We arrive. Colby parks heinously, but it's OK, because he flashes his BYU card and announces he's legit to be in the vicinity of other such individuals. To which they reply, "Uh...that 'card' doesn't give you license to park like an idiot". And Colby intredpidly retorts, "Fellow student, if I didn't park this way, who would?" The fellow student donned a fitting look of bewilderment upon his holy face, and left it alone.
Six minutes late, and we're booking it. The not-so-quiet sound of my most-likely inappropriate hills clicking across the floor, along with anything else I can hyphenate. Colby gets distracted by the building adjacent to our destination, and says, "Oh, man, what's THAT building??" I looked over. The building looked like the red curtains on Broadway that open and close to introduce, conclude scenese, but beige. The Beige Curtain. So I replied, "Oh, that's the Curtain Building." Accustomed, but not aged to my abstract remarks he laughed, "Babe, I love you."
That was sweet, wasn't it?
I walked into the church-like building and was bemused to find a Jamba Juice paralleled to what would normally be a chapel. Mmmm. The small, nearly run-down theatre was located next door to the juice stand. Dark, full, and fun. The current band on stage consisted of two boys singing and playing guitar, and one kid...playing a....conduit for percussion. I clearly don't know what it was. They played reallly well, but I was pretty bored. I'm allowed to be honest!
The following performers were each unique, but hit and miss. This girl, Natalie, played a classical acoustic and had a very clear, beautiful voice that she's finding wonderfully. Not there yet, but she's absolutely on her way. Another girl, Robin, I think was her name (if it wasn't Robin, it should be because she whistled a lot) was modern-day good. As long as she stayed in her range, it was "cute", and "zoe deschanel". She could get an album deal if she wanted.
A few others went by....then it was Colby's turn. He was super nervous. All dressed up in his button up, tucked in shirt with the collar folded neatly over his old-man vest with his favorite pair of jeans. Oh, and his Milwaukee Brewers hat. He left his glasses at home, which really let's us all see those adorable chocolate-chip colored eyes.
Up to the stage he went. If any of you know Colby, he talks when he's nervous. Unabashedly, sometimes. But not this time. He quietly tuned his guitar as he busted this joke, "blahblahblah...saw the hymn numbers on the chalkboard, and new I was at BYU for certain." The students didn't really laugh, so I tried to laugh louder than usual to compensate, while simultaneously giving the stink eye to everyone who could see. Not really, but now that I think about it....
He sang three songs. Opened with Josh Ritter's "Golden Age of Radio" (which is always a hit), "Sharing a Dance With the Rain", one of his own, and finished with his newest song, "Boulder Town". This last one was pretty special. He prefaced the song with the story that his family is from Boulder, UT; a town frequently glimpsed over, unknown, and gloriously unproduced. A few people came up to him after, and expressed their love for the song. One gentleman even had a few family members there as well, and easily identified with Colby.
I'm so proud of Colby. He's working so hard for all his dreams. BYU has been a kick in the butt, but he's doing anything he can, including waking up at 4 every morning just to get his homework done. He's been such a wonderful stay-at-home dad, and running Hallie to her appointments, making sure she eats, gets her naps, etc. By the time I come home, the house is a mess, my baby is sleeping, and Colby is doing homework greeting me with a smile and a kiss and I wouldn't change anything for the world. It's hard, and great. We found a quiet park next to our condo with a running track, so mommy can run, baby can play, and daddy reads. It's lovely. I'm so assured. Every day.
"I'm am assured, yes. I'm assured peace will come to me. A peace that can, yes, surpass the speed of my understanding, and my need."
The End. Man, I really fell off the embellishment wagon pretty early on this one. More fiction/non-fiction to come.
Love you all!
Friday, September 16, 2011
Maddie at Work
I'm at work. How many different ways can I say it? And when I'm at work, I wear no shoes. My feet get hot. Who can blame me?
When I'm at work, I listen to "Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn. This, I believe, is a fake name. Alias' are one of the things that make the world go 'round, twice. Let's live 2 lives. But, some would argue, this minimizes the expanse of living just one life. My response is, "Does it?"
When I'm at work, things are bombastic. Especially when I'm not there at all. In fact, things aren't bombastic at all, and the only level of bombastity that I experience is at home watching an artist performing on Vicar Street in Ireland. Bombastic.
If I told you my alias, I couldn't hide behind it, could I? N. Silver. What do I have to hide? "I'm an open book".
When I'm at work, I listen to "Young Folks" by Peter Bjorn. This, I believe, is a fake name. Alias' are one of the things that make the world go 'round, twice. Let's live 2 lives. But, some would argue, this minimizes the expanse of living just one life. My response is, "Does it?"
When I'm at work, things are bombastic. Especially when I'm not there at all. In fact, things aren't bombastic at all, and the only level of bombastity that I experience is at home watching an artist performing on Vicar Street in Ireland. Bombastic.
If I told you my alias, I couldn't hide behind it, could I? N. Silver. What do I have to hide? "I'm an open book".
Thursday, September 8, 2011
New Place Non-Blues
Colby, Hallie, and I have recently moved to Pleasant Grove from Provo. It's been wonderful! The drive is nice, and the same amount of time as in-city driving commuting. Pleasant Grove reminds me of home with the vast spaces, and room to breathe. I love knowing I can go for a run, or on a bike ride with my girl and not have to stop every five feet for a stop light. Everything is still so close, and I just finally feel at home.
Hallie is having a harder time adjusting. She's a bit older now, and got upset when we moved her bed. She kept crying, "sleepy! sleepy! mama, no!" It broke our heart at the time, but when we put it in her new room she smiled the sweetest smile. She stil won't fall asleep in her room alone yet, but it's only been a week. Last night, the night light was turned just so, and she kept seeing our shadows on the wall. She was terrified, and kept screaming, "Mommy, ghost! Scary!" My first thought, was where the flip did she learn the word ghost and scary. Then I remembered who my mother is, and it clicked. She LOVES the several parks at the condo's, and we're excited to try the pool before it gets too cold.
I'll write more later, but I just wanted to let ya'll know that our little family finally has a home.
Hallie is having a harder time adjusting. She's a bit older now, and got upset when we moved her bed. She kept crying, "sleepy! sleepy! mama, no!" It broke our heart at the time, but when we put it in her new room she smiled the sweetest smile. She stil won't fall asleep in her room alone yet, but it's only been a week. Last night, the night light was turned just so, and she kept seeing our shadows on the wall. She was terrified, and kept screaming, "Mommy, ghost! Scary!" My first thought, was where the flip did she learn the word ghost and scary. Then I remembered who my mother is, and it clicked. She LOVES the several parks at the condo's, and we're excited to try the pool before it gets too cold.
I'll write more later, but I just wanted to let ya'll know that our little family finally has a home.
Monday, August 15, 2011
The Road Traveled All Too Well
Allow me, please, to be amiguous without consequences.
We all walk our own roads, that's apparent. We all attach ourselves to various, yet specific things. Some people will choose yellow, and other a deep shade of red. My road is the latter hue. It is beautiful in everything it is and lacks; runs deep and travels like a river. Encompassed, not bombarded, with substance: foliage, deep-rooted tree's-whether naturally, or self-induced, it is the same-libraries, several outlets not required to be taken, bridges, and bubbles. What I love best, is the course in undeviating, unrelenting toward something not very red at all.
Why, and how this is interesting to you, I don't know. Stop reading if it is. It won't stop.
What happens when an amazing, vibrant shade of Blue decides to run parallel....?
We all walk our own roads, that's apparent. We all attach ourselves to various, yet specific things. Some people will choose yellow, and other a deep shade of red. My road is the latter hue. It is beautiful in everything it is and lacks; runs deep and travels like a river. Encompassed, not bombarded, with substance: foliage, deep-rooted tree's-whether naturally, or self-induced, it is the same-libraries, several outlets not required to be taken, bridges, and bubbles. What I love best, is the course in undeviating, unrelenting toward something not very red at all.
Why, and how this is interesting to you, I don't know. Stop reading if it is. It won't stop.
What happens when an amazing, vibrant shade of Blue decides to run parallel....?
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