I am on a deliberate journey. I used to live in this shell, and would just wait for the rain for to fall so that when it did, and landed on my shell and not me, I could feel like I had some control over the bad things in life. I prepared for them, focused on them, as a method of perceived damage control. I didn't realize that what you focus on truly grows. I was creating my own havoc; my own misery. The most depressing part about living this kind of life, was that I was actually okay with things. Not in a healthy "find happiness amid crap" kind of way; rather an "ignorance is bliss" kind of way. I had no idea that my dreamless, sedentary mind, body, and spirit were collectively on a downward spiral. I was feeding neither of them properly. Sure, I went to church, I even had a testimony and taught Gospel Doctrine well; had a relationship with my Savior for the most part. Sure, I exercised and kept my fast food and fatty foods to a minimum. I fed my mind zero. Keeping up with the Kardashians and Vampire Diaries was the extent of what my brain was eating. I was living a bare minimum life, expecting a luxurious ending through my husband and his schooling. I had the kids, and selfishly, thought that was my part of this all. How great a thing to have children, but how little a purpose that left for the rest of me. I teach Hallie she can do anything, and that I wanted her to have dreams, and realized that I had no idea how to dream. Practicality was the name of the game, and anything above that was unsafe, foolish, and an inevitable demise. All this... Until July 22, 2013.
I attended a Power of Choice seminar at the request of my colleague in doTERRA, Ginger Lancaster. Colby and I attended with complete trust, and with an open mind and heart. Our results were huge. HUGE!!! Colby was preparing to go on a study abroad to Amman, Jordan for four months leaving me and the children at home. This had to be done in order for him to graduate. It had to. I knew the storm was coming and had no way to prepare for it. I didn't know how to make a shell that big!!! Power of Choice taught me tools to handle such things. I could choose to be miserable with the things i could not change, or love them. And if i can't love them, which I certainly did not, then accept them. Colby being gone was the cruelest time. It was difficult. But it was EMPOWERING!! I had DONE it!!! Not only that, but I raised 3500 dollars to go SEE him in Jordan and Israel!! I flew all by myself to another COUNTRY!! It was when we landed back home with our kids that I realized
I AM A LION OF A MOTHER, AND I CAN DO HARD THINGS!!
This was so monumental to me at the time and now. The trip to the Middle East changed my entire course of action. Going through POC the first time last July taught me when I removed my need to be in control and all the fear that came with that, that I wanted exactly what Colby's dreams had been all along; to travel and help people. Travel, and actually make a difference in people's lives. The critic in me immediately just piped up with, "how arrogant. you're so much better than everyone else and think that they need YOU?" yes, critic, they do. Turns out i'm a D.O.G. who can B.A.R.K.
I am a Daughter of God: Bold, Authentic, Radiant, and Kind.
I am literally inherently blessed with all I need to be successful, to be authentically loving to people around me, to be "a light to those in the dark" as God expressly told me. A city on a hill cannot be hid afterall. God is so good. As soon as i discovered all of this, and committed to making my now dreams a reality, God began to move as well. Putting people on my path that I will be with for life, and providing means for me to share essential oils when I otherwise would not have the opportunity.
I. Can. Choose.
And I choose to be helpful, kind, supportive, and successful. I choose to help my family eliminate debt, retirement plans, college funds, and fun! To provide a more financially free life with time freedom!!! Once my family's needs are met, I desire to create an organization for mothers and children in the Middle East... such kind, helpless refugee's... with nowhere to go... nothing to eat, and holy clothes to wear when it's so cold out... My heart has expanded for the Arabs... i fought Colby so hard because of fear... And love is SO much more powerful!!!! It is so much more compelling, propelling, and simply powerful! My faith has increased, my testimony is on solid ground, my mind is being sharpened with daily tools of reading, studying, and my body is being strengthened through oils, exercise, and God himself. My spirit...is being edified daily. My demeanor is more positive and I persevere instead of quit. My heart is full. My heart is growing like the waves of the sea.
And now I'm onto Power 90. Conquering a huge 90 day goal. Wish me luck, though i won't need it because I have everything I need to do this. I just have to see what's already within me, and use it with a little imagination.
I am the Creator and Conqueror of all my Conquests.
